More Words than Pictures, for once!

I’ve been in a real funk lately.

Mostly because I’ve had to re-evaluate the last 10-12 years of my life, since it appears that what I believed to be a true view of my ex wasn’t even close to the truth. Not that he was unfaithful – it’s his actions after our break-up that really makes me wonder what kind of person it was I spent all those years with.

For starters, I kind of thought it would take him more time to “get over” our relationship, but apparently he has a very short turnaround time.

I am still reeling every now and then, when it hits me that my life has changed so incredibly much in just the last 2 months. He on the other hand, seems to have had a plan for all this for quite some time. Why else would he be out on the market on dating sites looking for female company within days of me moving out?

How do I know?

Through an acquaintance who also trawls those sites for a possible mate.

Does that mean he was done with me long before the actual break-up, and I didn’t realise that? What about last winter? Was all his care and attention during my operation and chemo nothing more than acting on his part?

Or, and this is what really breaks me – is this a true presentation of his personality these days? Who was it I lived with for all those years? Who is he? I mean, really!

Is he someone who will make himself out as being far more open-minded than what he really is – far more accepting of others than what is the actual truth? Pretend to be a person who has certain interests, who enjoys champagne breakfasts, romantic walks on the beach and God-knows-what - to attract a woman who is anywhere between the ages of 35 and 45? He presents himself as having an occupation at which he hasn’t been active for some 15 years…

Is this signs of someone who is suffering from a belated middle-age crisis – or what?

I’ve been battling with this post for the last two weeks. At first, I was not going to make it public – for the shame of it. Then I thought I should keep a “stiff upper lip” and pretend that I think life is jolly good… Then I decided that I need to put this out there and get your advice, because I don’t seem to be able to let go of this.

Am I right in ranting and raving – to myself, to my journal, during walks around town?

Or

Should I understand his need to find a younger and slightly less shop-worn companion, who will join him for romantic dinners at candle-lit restaurants

(yea, right!)

and who can partake in lively discussions about the mysteries of life?

Romantic dinners??? In restaurants??? We didn’t do that, because he was too fracking cheap!

Discussions about the mysteries of life??? Was that what we did, when the talk was about the ills of various engines in different states of disrepair???

I must’ve missed an awful lot of things over the years.

Now, why do I still cry, every now and then?

Misty Morning

This is what it looked like behind the school one morning a few weeks ago and I was really relieved that I didn’t have to negotiate 50 km in that fog, like I have so many mornings this time of year in previous years. Yes, living in town does have some advantages…

Brrr!

I had planned on driving along the lake to get some shots before every single leaf is on the ground, but decided not to… This shot gives you an idea how windy it was today. Even though the temperature is still on the + side, the windchill factor must’ve given us a temperature way below zero. Time to dig out some warmer clothing, I think!

Signs of the Times

The high winds of the last few days have done a job on the foliage… This also made me realise that I’ll have a front seat right by the snowmobile-trail everyone uses when they want to go out on the lake… What joy! They’ll be zooming by just behind the first line of pine trees.

My favourites have gone to seed!

I Still Hurt!

… but not from the potatoe-picking. Two days at union meetings where you’re supposed to plant your rear on a chair all day just isn’t for me! Even if I try to get up and walk around every chance I get – I still end up feeling about as agile as a chest freezer at the end of day. Not only that – we drive some 290 km to get to these meetings, meaning that we also spend an awful lot of hours in the car coming and going.

Today and tomorrow my students write their first tests in English for this semester.  I want to return them while the students still remember taking the test, so I guess I know what I’m doing this weekend…

I Hurt!

All over!

Getting the spuds out of the garden really did a job on my leg muscles. Yesterday, I tried counter-acting the worst effects of the potatoe-picking, by sorting out some boxes at home. This made me realise just how big the room where I’m putting the loom, really is! Which in its’ turn made me assemble the loom…

All. By. Myself.

So now not only do I have knots in my leg muscles… now my arms also hurt. Not that I’m looking for sympathy, I can’t even use  “Stupid does like stupid says” in defence – just grin and bear it!

Tomorrow I’m off for two days of Union-work. Regular posting will resume after that.

I’m Borrowing….

… from Tina over here.

1. What is your occupation right now? Teacher.

2. What color are your socks right now? Black.

3. What are you listening to right now? Fleetwood Mac – The Dance

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Youghurt and muesli.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Sure can, but prefer an automatic.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My BFF.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Definitely.

8. How old are you today? 56 – but not counting!

9. What is your favourite sport to watch? Don’t do. I just fall asleep in front of the TV.

10. What is your favourite drink? In the morning – strong coffee. With food – milk. For pleasure – a good red wine.

12. Favourite food? A nice reindeer steak with the trimmings.

13. What is the latest movie you watched? You mean the latest one I fell asleep to???

14. Favourite day of the year? First day of summer holidays.

15. How do you vent your anger? Ranting and raving, then I try to change whatever it is that got me going.

16. What was your favourite toy as a child? Didn’t have many – I preferred being outside.

17. What is your favourite season? Fall for the colours, early spring for the high sky, summer for the warmth and winter for the snow.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries

19. Living arrangements? 1-bdrm apartment.

20. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.

21. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, packsack, B&D sander

22. What did you do last night? Tried to de-knot muscles in my legs. (Please see my previous post for explanation!)

23. What inspires you? Nature, my students.

24. What are you most afraid of? That I won’t know when I should quit teaching.

25. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Anything spicy.

26. Favourite dog breed? Dog, almost any kind.

27. Favourite day of the week? Wednesday – my bonus day-off.

28. How many provinces have you lived in? 4. Ontarion, Manitoba, Saskatchewan and NWT

29. Biggest Life lesson… To live life in such a way that I won’t have to regret NOT having done something or other.

Harvest

Phone call from my friend Ellinor yesterday:

E: Hi. What are you doing tomorrow?

Me: Uuh, nothing much. Why do you ask?

E: Do you want to come along to K and help me dig up the potatoes?

Me: Uuh, yea I guess.

So, on a Saturday morning I voluntarily get up at 6 AM to get ready for a 200 km-drive so I can break my back, getting this out of the potatoe patch:

We also picked these:

And I sat under this when I was taking five:

After a job well done, we took a walk along the river and saw this:

I am truly blessed, living in an area where I have all this and more close enough that I can enjoy it on a regular Saturday!

Suggestions for a fulfilling spare time….

This comic strip gave me some ideas, so….

I’ve booked my tickets and will be leaving on the 16th of December to go to Vancouver, B.C. I’ll be there for my son’s birthday, Christmas and New Years.

If I weren’t afraid of breaking half of my old, brittle bones , I’d be doing cartwheels around the block!

BTW. For now I’ll pass on the meeting-Mr-Right-bit.

Around Town

Right after the personnel meeting today, I hightailed out from work to get this picture before I would loose all light.

The building on the right is the Old Folk’s Home. It’s not all that easy to see on this shot, but they have quite the view from their diningroom.

This is part of their view. I was trying to catch the reflection on the lake from the building up top. There is some kind of shiny siding on the new part of the hotel – it looked almost like “The Yellow Brick Road” across the lake when I happened to come by.