Jenn from Juggling Life commented that she hoped the bully I was writing about yesterday would be seeing some serious consequences as a result of his actions. To that I have to answer both yes and no, since we work according to a plan that does not include punishment, which might be what many people think of when talking about repercussions in a case like this.
Two members from the ABT (Anti Bullying Team = my translation this very moment) start out by talking to the person who was wronged. The bully and others are kept apart by other staff members to prevent that they concoct a story everyone will repeat. We then go on to talking to all hangers-on and spectators – one person asking the questions and another taking notes. By then we usually have a fairly complete picture of what happened and can go on to the next step – talking to the bully/bullies. This usually takes the form of informing the person/persons of what we have found out, pointing out what was wrong in their behaviour followed by clear instructions as to what is expected of them in the future. We also tell them that there will be follow-up talks within a week or so with everyone directly involved in the incident. We will also inform all parents about the actions taken by the school. Should there be any further unacceptable behaviour by the same student/students, we might involve the police if the offence is serious enough – or Social Services if it’s called for.
How do you feel about the system? Do you think it is effective? It does sound like there is definitely a mechanism in place if things escalate.
Really the only experience I’ve had with my kids being bullied was with a girl trying it with my daughter in 2nd grade. It didn’t work because my daughter is just not a victim, but I think practically the most frustrating part was when the teacher tried to have the two girls “talk it out.” It wasn’t a two-person problem–it was the bullies problem.
Comment by Jenn @ Juggling Life — November 5, 2009 @ 3:42 am
Yes, an interesting protocol and I think rather different the one that is generally employed here. So far, and it is early days yet, my sons have not suffered any bullying. I suspect that is partly luck and partly that they are fairly self-contained, free-thinkers who don’t try and get in or stay in with a crowd and don’t make easy victims. But it may happen.
Comment by Reluctant Blogger — November 5, 2009 @ 2:07 pm
And on another note, I LOVE the thin red frame around this black and white tree in the snow. Fantastic. What an eye. SO makes me wish I’d been born with a little bit of that photographer’s “eye.” Alas,none of it. I’m lucky if I can even snap a picture in focus.
Comment by Laurie — November 5, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
I am always amazed how your photographs have a connection with your postings (in this case, the tree is heavily burdened).
It does sound as though your system is well thought out. Do the victims (the ones who are bullied) feel vindicated?
Comment by kcinnova — November 6, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
As someone who suffered from bullying quite a lot when I was at school, I’m interested to read your thoughts on how you tackle this. Thanks.
Comment by Rol — November 6, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
Jenn, RB & Rol – I will be posting more on this subject…
Laurie and KC – Sometimes I’m not even fully aware that there is a connection between my writing and the picture I choose – but this time the choice was concious. The tree stands alone, and like KC points out -heavily burdened.
Comment by allmycke — November 6, 2009 @ 4:45 pm